God girl grill gridiron

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Iron Bowl Part Two B: Addendum

(As they say, it cain't wait.)

You may recall a certain chart I made.

Now don't get me wrong, it's a fine chart in my humble opinion. But I discovered how it could be improved. It's so simple - what makes anything better? Less Be'r Bry'nt. So I subtracted his years out of the equation. Nod your head to this:

Do the math: one post-WWII Iron Bowl minus Paul Bear Bryant equals sheer domination.*

Bama fans will likely say I'm ignoring reality, and that like-it-or-not, Bryant left his indelible mark on the series and I can't just minus him out with all them ciphers. But I'm not ignoring reality, I'm just, shall we say, illuminating it. The chart doesn't lie. Bear Bryant's tenure at Alabama resulted in a huge deficit for Auburn to overcome, but we are overcoming it. At times, we have fought to a standstill, or taken momentary setbacks, but the pre-war trend continues intact.

The reality is that Auburn is winning. Without Bryant, they are nothing.

*Yes, I know this gets rid of Doug Barfield entirely. Sue me.


ME said...



This is to advise you that a lawsuit has been filed as described below.

Date of filing: July 16, 2008

Court of filing: Lee County (Alabama) District Court

Lawsuit filed by: The Auburn Nation


Particulars of the lawsuit:

(1) On or about July 15, 2008, Defendant did cause avoidable, unnecessary harm to the reputation of The Auburn Nation by uttering the name "Doug Barfield" within the same context as Auburn University.

Remedies sought:

(1) Defendant shall locate the Shroud of Bear (link), and, while wearing (only) the said Shroud of Bear, shall stand in front of the main entrance to Haley Center (on the Auburn University campus) during the daylight hours of the first 3 days of Fall Semester, 2008, and shall loudly and repeatedly proclaim the following: "I challenge any Pac 10 fan to a game of rock/paper/scissors, and if I shall lose, I will lick the entire surface of a pair of Charlie Weis' tennis shoes continuously for one hour, or until the Ohio State football team next defeats an SEC opponent".

(2) In lieu of (1), Defendant shall (a) acquire a "University of Alabama" baseball-style cap, (b) cause a digital photograph to be made showing Defendant wearing said baseball cap on his head, with the name and logo of said University of Alabama fully visible, and (c) post said photograph on, with the following subtitle: "I exist to be dominated".

"RTB" said...

Nice work.