And I watched the first half from then on. I've been scribbling plays down but it's just not worth it to post them indelibly on the intertubes, where they will remain an object of shame as long as there are electrons buzzing viciously through emotionless silicon, ardently preserving our hideous implosion.
Our defense thus far has looked porous and thoroughly human, but opportunistic. Which is to say, like Vanderbilt's defense. Well, prior to our brilliant reprisal of the SEC's epic 2008 production of 1 Samuel, chapter 17. Poor Zac Etheridge was beat like a red-headed stepchild on two consecutive plays for drooling chunks of yardage. Tyronne Green was physically shoved three yards into the backfield and into Brad Lester. Tommy Trott swatted a pass out of the air. We gave up crucial third downs to easy under routes, both because the zone isn't working and because the line can't get pressure on Casey Dick. Speaking of Dick, we bit down hard on a fake to Michael Smith, and Casey Dick ambled into the endzone for their only TD. And on top of everything, we inexplicably gave the ball to Chris Todd, who barfed out two incompletions and then botched the speed option to the near side - why we even called this play at all, much less with Todd in the game, is completely inscrutable to me.
The stat that tells the whole story is total offensive yards: Auburn 53, Arkansas 242.
But there are bright spots, moments of glory. Multiple picks. A kickoff return for a TD by Tristan Davis. A heroic, swarming goal line stand by a team that refused to give up - and that stared down Petrino's offense and dared him to go for it on 4th and goal from the 3. He blinked.
All in all, it looks like a team that's learning. A team in a bad place, but with a lot of room to grow. War Damn Eagle.
Also, thanks ESPN360.com: I'm sick of Hampton Inn, and I don't care how good a TV is it's not changing my life.
Chris Todd hurled another gorgeous interception. I'm tired of this and I'm tired of the scapegoating - get him off the field. I don't want to write plays down anymore.